Between equals the family reading sits closer to the friendship one, with history added. The pair's tone is above; what changes is that nobody chose it, so the patience has to be chosen instead.
Say the ordinary things out loud. Family bonds erode through assumption more than through argument, and a 11 and a 22 will read silence differently. A sentence that feels unnecessary to one number is often the one the other was waiting for.
When the two clash, look for the pattern rather than the incident; family quarrels repeat. The numbers name the temperament behind the pattern, which is the part that can be worked around once it is seen for what it is.